Change Things That No Longer Serve You
I feel the need to connect with people and disconnect from my screens. If you know something is off in your life, but are not quite sure how to makes changes, this post is for you. I want to keep this post simple. Life is complicated enough without a complicated post about how you can change your life. We live in a anxiety provoking world and it can be hard to find time to reflect on what we want, much less to actually make changes.
multitasking actually makes me less efficient, less present, more anxious, and less capable of enjoying my life and loved ones.
I can let work and life distract me from really being present and fully enjoying the people and experiences in my life. I know I am not alone. I find times with friends is often interrupted or diminished by regular phone checking. Sometimes I feel anxious when I am with people because I reflexively want to check my phone for updates.
For myself, I'm working on being more mindful and less distracted, which usually means having clear boundaries with the things that distract me, like my phone and my computer. I find myself regularly trying to multitask. This desire to multitask comes from the nagging feeling that I can never get everything done. The reality, however, is that multitasking actually makes me less efficient, less present, more anxious, and less capable of enjoying my life and loved ones.
This New Years, I am going to focus on changing something that no longer serves me well--being on my phone and computer too much. It's hard to completely disconnect from my phone and computer. I need it for my practice and to communicate with family and friends. But the fact is that being so connected no longer serves me well.
What have you lost by holding onto things that no longer serve you?
I think of times my daughter was trying to get my attention, and I was distracted by an email or social media. I am not doing anything well at that point. I am not enjoying my kiddo and I am only half engaged with social media. I think of those times that I check email into the evening and then have trouble sleeping because I am trying to problem-solve things right before bed time.
I am making a commitment to powering down when possible, to putting my phone in the other room, to starting my day with some deep breathing, meditation, or scripture instead of checking email as soon as I get up. I am making a commitment to prioritize things that are of value. And I will start to consider which relationships no longer make sense in my life, hoping to make room for other new relationships. Change is hard, so these changes are largely aspirational, but you have to start somewhere.
By being overly busy and multitasking, I think I am giving up on true intimacy in realtionships, a calm mind, and a good nights sleep.
Sometimes you have to let go of something to make room for the things of value.
You may be working really hard at things that no longer work for your life. Be willing to let them go in pursuit of something else that makes more sense for you. Continuing to work hard at things you don't love and that no longer give you fulfillment will only keep making you frustrated, even if you happen to succeed.
By letting go of these things in your life, it may make room for something that will give you joy and fulfillment. It will make room for the things that are the best use of your time and talents.
If you are feeling stuck, it's usually a sign that it's time for change.
We only have so much space in our hearts and minds. Human beings are creatures of habit and comfort. We keep doing what we have been doing because it is easier than changing. That is a big part of how we get stuck and stop growing and feeling interested in our lives. If you are feeling stuck, it's usually a sign that it's time for change. You have to have the courage to pursue change before things will get better.
factors that can get in the way of living fully
Fear of Failure:
The fear of failure can hold people back from pursuing their goals and dreams. It may lead to hesitation, self-doubt, and missed opportunities for personal and professional growth. You never know if things will work if you don’t try them. What is the worst thing that can happen if you try? If you don’t try, you have already failed.
Perfectionism:
Striving for perfection in all aspects of life can be overwhelming and unattainable. Perfectionism can take the joy out of life. Perfectionism is utterly impossible and will just make you feel less than even when you are wonderful. My motto is “Good enough is good enough.”
Negative Self-Talk:
Negative internal dialogue can contribute to low self-esteem and limit one's ability to fully engage in life. Changing negative thought patterns is crucial for personal development.
Lack of Self-Confidence:
A lack of confidence can prevent individuals from taking risks and seizing opportunities. Building self-confidence involves recognizing and challenging self-limiting beliefs.
Unhealthy Relationships:
Toxic or unfulfilling relationships can negatively impact well-being and prevent individuals from living fully. Have the courage to cut off poisonous people so that you can make room for people who will build you up.
Procrastination:
Delaying tasks or avoiding responsibilities can lead to missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential. Overcoming procrastination involves developing effective time management skills and addressing underlying issues. People often procrastinate because they are struggling with anxiety. If this is you, anxiety treatment in Houston can help.
Limited Mindset:
A fixed mindset that believes abilities and traits are static can hinder personal growth. Cultivating a growth mindset involves embracing challenges and seeing failures as opportunities for learning and improvement. You have everything you need to change, you just have to learn to believe in yourself. If you are struggling with self-doubt, talking to a Texas therapist can help you build your confidence and deal with any fear that is getting in your way.
Comparison:
Constantly comparing oneself to others can foster feelings of inadequacy and hinder personal satisfaction. Recognizing and appreciating one's unique strengths and qualities is important for a fulfilling life. This post has some tips for how to stop comparing yourself to others.
Burnout:
Overcommitting and neglecting self-care can lead to burnout, which affects physical and mental well-being. Balancing responsibilities and taking time for relaxation is crucial for a sustainable and fulfilling life.
Lack of Purpose:
Not having a clear sense of purpose or goals can result in a feeling of aimlessness. Establishing meaningful objectives and aligning actions with personal values contributes to a more fulfilling life. If you feel aimless, one of our caring Houston therapists can help you determine what gives you purpose.
It's important to note that these challenges are part of the human experience, and overcoming them often involves self-reflection, personal development, and seeking support from others when needed. Additionally, seeking guidance from mental health professionals can be beneficial for addressing specific issues and promoting overall well-being.
How can you let go of things that no longer serve you?
This New Years, think about what is not working in your life. It may be a relationship that has not worked in a long time, a habit or addiction, a goal that is out of date with your values, a belief system that is keeping you stuck, or obligations that stress you out but provide no real value.
Stop and make a list of everything that you suspect may not serve you anymore. What is one of those things that you are willing to change, remove, or replace? Place a Post-It note or a reminder somewhere to help you remember the thing you want to change. Remind yourself why it is worth changing that thing. Imagine how your life will be improved with this change. Imagine how free you will be without this thing, habit or person.
This blog is not meant to replace professional counseling.
Getting rid of Just one thing may be the change you need.
If you are struggling to make changes in your life, we have Houston,Texas anxiety counselors who can help. Contact us at 713-565-0922.
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