It’s hard to know what to do when your child is struggling emotionally. You want to be there for them, but sometimes everything you try is not working and it’s time to call in some help. That is exactly where child therapy can be a support to you and your child. We have trained child therapists who can give your child an outlet and tools to deal with hard things, as well as give you advice for how to best come alongside your child.
If you are like most parents, you may be wondering about how child therapy works for your child and what it can do for them. We put together this post to answer an important question we get from parents and caregivers. If you are struggling as a parent, know that you are not alone. We have parenting counseling that can help you navigate parenhood.
How will child therapy help my kid?
Child therapy can do the following for your child:
1. Therapy can help Increase regulation (academically, mentally, psychologically, and socially)
There are many reasons why a child can become dysregulated and you often see evidence of this in various arenas. Dysregulation is talking about a poor ability to manage emotions and keep them within an acceptable range. Emotions can include anger, sadness, irritation, etc.
Through the process of therapy, kids learn to have better control of their emotions. Before the therapy process, the child's behavior could be viewed as extreme, however, after therapy, the child learns to become more centered. Children tend to have more of a behavior pattern where there are small ups and downs and you start to notice more of a balance in their temperament. That is not to say they won’t be emotional or get upset, but hopefully, it will not be so extreme, and they have methods for self-soothing and a place to put those tough emotions.
The child learns how to have greater self-control, self-regulate, and how to become more balanced. The extreme highs and lows in behavior and temperament, the huge emotional upheaval; all that is from a child who cannot control themselves so they are controlled by their circumstances. The extreme spikes in emotional upheaval are leveled out and you just get a more calm, centered, balanced child. Of course, there are still ups and downs, but everything just stays more balanced so increased regulation is outcome number one.
2. Teach Your Child the consequences of their actions
Children typically do not develop abstract reasoning skills until about the age of 12 or 13 so when you are looking at a child that does not have abstract reasoning, it is very difficult for them to have an appropriate view of the world. For example, they are in the here and now, they respond at the moment, governed by their feelings, whatever emotions they feel, they act on. They act without thinking. They are spontaneous and they do not think things through to their conclusion. After therapy, they will begin to connect the idea that actions have consequences and they learn that what they do at this moment has a ripple effect beyond the here and now. It's another area of self-regulation but it's broadened out to understand that they are not the center of the universe and that there are circumstances to their actions.
3. Improve their communication about Emotional issues
This is a monumental gain for children because they do not come out of the womb understanding their emotions. Understanding your emotions is a learned process. What you need to know is that people have a two-part development of emotional vocabulary. We have to accurately identify our feelings first, then effectively communicate the feeling to communicate our needs. This pattern is important to learn. Essentially, if you have someone who is an adult and gets really angry and punches their fist through the wall, they don’t have a healthy emotional vocabulary because they either did not understand their feelings, or they did not effectively communicate their feelings.
This process can be learned and developed through play therapy which gives children the opportunity to learn how to identify what they are feeling and then express it. It’s important for children to learn to express their emotions and eventually express their needs if they want to get them met. . For instance, if a child says, "When I was at school and I felt this way, Ms. Tiffany told me I was nervous.” Now the child will be able to identify the feeling as being nervous which is part one. Next time the child feels this way when they are at home, school, or wherever they are able to say, 'Oh, I remember what this is now I can tell someone I feel nervous right now." This is the second part. Now their needs can be met, so emotional vocabulary is a huge gain for kids.
4. Increase Self-Esteem
Play therapy works as one issue sparks work on all the rest. Self-esteem is so beneficial because it really is a huge influence on all of the progress a child will make. As a child starts to feel better about themselves, they learn that they’re capable, that they can trust themselves, that they’re competent, that they have coping skills, that they are resilient, and that they can figure out how to handle a situation.
When you begin to believe those things about yourself, everything seems easier and less overwhelming. As a result, you can see how the increased self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth infiltrate every other aspect of the child’s world. So obviously expressing their emotions becomes easier.
Understanding worldview becomes easier; regulating becomes easier, all because they have a different view of what they’re capable of.
Imagine what it would be like if you knew that six months down the road, your child had developed those four skills.
They would better regulate
they would have a better worldview
they would have better self-confidence
they would have a better emotional vocabulary
What would that look like in your family? What would that look like for you as a parent? How would your child feel differently? How would your child view the world? These are gifts to your child who is going to grow up and become an adult. As parents, as adults in our child’s lives; I think our greatest desire for them is to have them turn into content, self-assured adults. These four foundational principles set children up to be not only happy children but also happy adults.
If your child is struggling, please call one of our child therapists. We would be happy to answer any questions you have or to set up an appointment.
Guest Post By Tiffany Connell
OTHER THERAPY SERVICES WE OFFER IN HOUSTON, TX
In addition to Child Therapy, we have other mental health services that we offer at our Houston, TX counseling office. Our services are available for adults, children, and teens. For individuals, we offer Anxiety Therapy, Couples and Marriage Therapy, Family Therapy, Eating Disorder Therapy, School and College Counseling, Autism Therapy, Perinatal and Postpartum Treatment, and Infertility Counseling. As well as Trauma Therapy, PTSD Treatment, EMDR Therapy, and LGBTQ+ Counseling. Our caring therapists also offer Career Counseling, and LPC Supervision. All of these services are also available through Online Counseling throughout Texas.