When stress enters the relationship (as it has during the pandemic), couples will inevitably turn towards one another or turn away from one another. If I am in a trusting, safe, loving relationship, I may see my partner as part of the solution that will help me feel better, or I will view them as an obstacle that makes things worse for me.
If you want to strengthen your relationship during covid-19, I recommend the following:
1) Give each other the benefit of the doubt when problems arise. Don't assume the worst about your partner.
2) When you don't understand why your partner has done what they have done, try being curious instead of judgemental. Ask open-ended questions, like "Tell me more about how that feels to you." or "Tell me more about that decision." Instead of, "Why did you do something so stupid?!"
3) Have fun together. Even in quarantine, you can enjoy each other's company. Play games, plan themed nights, watch travel shows, and dream about where you want to go, exercise together, throw a living room dance party or sing karaoke. Having fun together can stimulate pleasure hormones and help you feel closer to one another.
4) Communicate your needs to one another. Ask for help if you need it. Your partner can not read your mind, and can not meet your needs if they don't know what those needs are. People don't suddenly become psychic just because they are in love.
5) Maintain your own self-care routine. If you are not taking care of yourself, you won't be good for anyone, including your partner.
6) Spend some time apart. It is true what they say about absence making the heart grow fonder. Spend a little bit of time being in separate spaces, or doing activities by yourself. You will appreciate each other more when you come back together.
Let your partner feel however they feel. Don't judge their feelings. Many of us have been on an emotional rollercoaster this year. It's important for your partner to be able to experience their feelings and feel safe expressing them to you. It is cathartic to be able to express yourself when you are going through a tough time.
Beyond just surviving, you have the power to make things better in your relationship. Just take it one day, one conversation, one action at a time. Covid-19 doesn't have to be a death sentence for your relationship. Just the opposite can also be true. When you look back on this time, you can see that it was a time you pulled together as a couple and told the virus who's boss.
The advice in this blog is not a substitute for professional counseling.
OTHER THERAPY SERVICES WE OFFER IN HOUSTON, TX
In addition to Couples Counseling & Marriage Counseling, we have other mental health services that we offer at our Houston, TX counseling office. Our services are available for adults, children, and teens. For individuals we offer Anxiety Treatment, Eating Disorder Counseling, School and College Counseling, and Infertility Counseling. As well as Family Therapy, Parenting Counseling, Career Counseling, and LGBTQ+ Counseling. Our caring therapists also offer LPC Supervision, and Trauma Therapy, PTSD Treatment, EMDR Therapy. All of these services are also available through Online Counseling throughout Texas.
If you’re ready to get started, please contact Wilson Counseling today.