Self-care and Race

Caring for yourself in a racially charged world

Last year our country witnessed a murder that could compare to ancient roman battles in its brutality. Watching a grown black man being murdered (with a police officer’s knee on his neck) beg for breath while crying out to his mother was gut-wrenching. The murder of George Floyd sparked numerous movements in the continued fight for racial equality in America. It was a wake-up call for so many people.

After a hard year of fighting in the courts,  a verdict on the murder case was revealed. Thankfully, there was accountability in this one case, but keeping up with the trial was full of emotional labor and anxiety-provoking for some.  For others, it might have even triggered some symptoms of depression, hopelessness, or trauma from their own experiences with racism or assault.

With all the stress that comes with living in a racially charged world, it’s important that you are taking the necessary time for self-care. But how do we do that with all of the guilt that comes from taking time to rest and enjoy life? It may take some practice, but being able to separate yourself from the consistent trauma of racism - whether it’s racism you experience personally or even that we experience vicariously through the media.

In the midst of this exposure to repeated racial violence, how do I destress and take care of myself.

Take time away from the media

This is a hard one for most. Social media and media alike have become incredible tools for many who care about social justice - making them go-to hubs for information and staying up-to-date. So, it makes sense that taking a break from the latest news would cause some anxiety and even feelings of guilt for some. 

However, taking a break from the news and social media can give you space to ground yourself and debrief what you have seen or heard.  Family or friends who can help you process the violence and injustice. Think of yourself as a car or truck; tough, reliable, durable, but without gas, incapable of movement. 

Recharging ourselves after engaging with heavy topics is necessary to avoid burnout.

Curate your social media

It is my personal belief that everyone deserves a space that feels 100% authentic to them. In the past, it was much more difficult for people to find a community that supports them. Now, however, with social media at our fingertips, we are much more able to choose what we would like to see and which communities we want to seek comfort from. 

The news may be overwhelming on one of your social media accounts, but creating another account dedicated solely to things that bring you out of that stressed headspace and into your happy place, can give you much-needed mental rest during these stressful times.

Make time for meaningful discussions

In these uncertain times, it can feel like everyone is either on one side or the other, but fortunately, our world isn’t only black-and-white. We can post, retweet, share, and follow, at the speed of light, so it is easy to think that you know what “side” friends or family are on by what they might share on social media. Sometimes this can close our minds to even the possibility of having a discussion with others and make us feel alienated. Taking some time to have these discussions with the ones you love will give you better insight into their lives, and can even open your mind to new ways of thinking and feeling. It helps to know we often have more in common than what separates us. 

Pace yourself

Although technology now allows us to have a phone, computer, camera, and mp3 player all in the palm of our hands, it is not your responsibility to stay up-to-date with everything all of the time. Scheduling time to engage with social media throughout your week can keep you present-minded while still engaging in meaningful change and staying up to date. When you limit your online time, you are creating healthy boundaries for yourself so that you are able to make meaningful changes towards the kind of world you want to see and live in. 

It is important for people to work towards their values, but sometimes we also need a break. Balance is key to keeping up your momentum and stamina. If you have experienced your own racial discrimination, racial trauma, or even secondary racial trauma from viewing racial violence, you may find yourself needing help to cope. We have therapists who can meet with you and help you start to feel better. 

The advice in this blog is not a substitute for professional counseling. 

Guest blog post by Michelle Harrell.

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